Journaling to Uncover Your Patterns and Signals for Great Communication
The relationships in our lives shape us and our realities. We therefore all have a responsibility to bring our best selves to the moments we connect with each other, such as our conversational spaces. When we’re conscious about how we show up and monitor these behaviors regularly through journaling and awareness, we continue learning and practicing ways to use our words and cues to make others feel seen, heard and connected. Our patterns and signals dictate the greatness of our communications.
As humans we communicate with patterns and signals in the ways we speak, act, and the unspoken signals emitted from our thoughts and non-verbal cues. These factors dictate our interaction dynamics; better understanding leads to our growth as better communicators and our ability to have healthier relationships.
How can we track our progress and growth in this area? Awareness is the first step. Next, capture your observations in a journal. With reflection, we notice our patterns of communication, listening and signaling with others, consciously creating greater safety for those interacting and we build increased trust, compassion and insight. The reverse is also true: when we’re unaware of how we show up around others, we often perpetuate poor habits we’d rather not, causing others to shut down and become unresponsive due to feeling unsafe and unsupported.
I want to share some simple interaction signals that you can experiment with in your professional and personal dynamics with others to enhance and strengthen all of your interactions and relationships.
Smile genuinely as much as you can while in a conversation with others.
Make eye contact as much as possible.
Pay attention to your tone and pace with your words.
Listen to connect, not reject, with what the other person is saying.
Journaling about your experiments, experiences and observations anchors in the lessons of your reflections, directly informing how you will operate better next time. Choose to be more interested than interesting. Implement a daily practice of quieting the mind using meditation to align your efforts and improve your communication goals, building stronger relationships in your life.
Moment of Introspection & Leadership:
Our patterns are hardwired into us and changing them requires a lot of hard work. I have found this first begins with wanting to change something, then having the tools that support your awareness to make the changes.
So, what does this look like? For me, slowing down and reflecting on the patterns I fall into daily has taught me how challenging it can be to really see the ways I show up in my relationships. One of the first things I noticed upon beginning this work was hearing myself on autopilot, responding in conversations with phrases such as “I love that,” and automatic affirmative statements that support what someone was sharing with me. These are not terrible ways to respond, but I want to be genuine in my conversations and use intention with my words and contributions.
If we’re moving through our days unaware of our patterns, we can send a signal to others that we don’t care. Consider how believable our autopilot statements are to the recipient. With consciousness, we improve our listening, comprehension, and our thoughtful responses. This leads to better-quality interactions and relationships.
I have found success using daily journaling prompts, such as “How am I doing with listening, pausing, and then being genuine with my response?” I invite you to use this prompt as you reflect and capture your observations in a journal. Remember, the journey of self-discovery and becoming a better version of yourself is knowing that it is a continuous journey of growth, and not simply a destination.
“If you just communicate, you can get by. But if you communicate skillfully, you can work miracles.”
— Jim Rohn
REFLECTIVE & DISCOVERY QUESTIONS FOR THOUGHTS & JOURNALING
What is a pattern of yours that you experience in conversations?
How do you know if you are actively listening in a conversation or just waiting to talk?
FOR YOUR TEAM DAILY HUDDLE
What is a healthy pattern of ours as a team that helps us communicate better throughout the day?