Mastering the Art of Mindful Communication
In our journey toward becoming better communicators, understanding the intricate workings of our minds is essential. Our minds are wired to keep us safe and protect us. Every 0.007 seconds, our brains diligently scan the environment, detecting potential threats through our senses – words, non-verbal cues, energy and scents. When the mind perceives danger, it triggers our primal survival response, releasing cortisol and prompting the "fight, flight, freeze or appease" mode. Let’s talk about how to master the art of mindful communication.
Interestingly, our minds can't distinguish between a life-threatening scenario and a negative expression on a friend or co-worker's face. It reacts similarly to both situations, preparing our bodies for survival. Recognizing this is crucial as we strive to become better communicators.
We possess the power to down-regulate our survival responses, not only in ourselves but also in others, through our words. When a conversation veers in a potentially threatening direction, we can intervene, pausing the discourse to check in with ourselves and the other party. Asking, "What would make this conversation feel safer?" can transform the dynamics positively. Empathy and compassion play vital roles in this process, helping us navigate towards more empathic exchanges.
Becoming a proficient communicator requires awareness and practice. Here are some practical tips to enhance your communication skills:
1. Set a clear intention before entering the conversation, and continually check in with it as you progress.
2. Pay attention to the environment. Prepare before you have your conversation, check in with yourself, and ask if the environment feels safe for both of you. Be aware of what potential distractions could take away from transparency in your conversation.
The strength of our conversations lies in the impact of our verbal and non-verbal cues. Set an intention to be mindful and curious in your conversations and you will see relationships to self and others evolve in a positive way.
Moment of Introspection & Leadership:
Reflecting on my early years in leadership, I can now discern the profound growth and joy that mindfulness practices have brought into my life. In my youth, I was blissfully unaware of how my words impacted others, and confronting someone with feedback or engaging in tough conversations was challenging for me.
Embracing mindfulness has been transformative, helping me gain a deeper understanding of my emotions. It's the first seed of awareness that sets the groundwork for the next stage of this journey – learning to articulate not only the positive emotions but also the challenging ones, which are often difficult to share.
I encourage the development of a daily mindfulness practice. Dedicate yourself to it consistently, and after 30 days, check in with yourself to witness the newfound clarity you'll have about your emotions and the power of your words. This path of mindfulness will undoubtedly lead you to more profound connections and authentic leadership.
“The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn’t being said.”
— Peter Drucker
REFLECTIVE & DISCOVERY QUESTIONS FOR THOUGHTS & JOURNALING
What is inspiring you to continue or begin a daily mindfulness practice?
What emotions do you feel most often around your partner, friends or co-workers?
FOR YOUR TEAM DAILY HUDDLE
How can we become emotionally stronger as a team today?